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“When I came home, I just wasn’t myself,” he says. Her father won his second DPOY that season, but it wasn’t only the Rams’ loss to the Patriots in Super Bowl LIII that left him in a “bad place mentally.” What tugged at him felt bigger, more existential, filling him with anxiety and dread. Jaeda, now 8 and his oldest, started first grade in 2018, and because of school and activities, she couldn’t fly out to visit as often as before. He can pinpoint the day he realized how deeply the distance between them would complicate his life. His other two children, Jaeda and Aaron Jr., spend most of the year in Pittsburgh. Why the honesty? Why now? “I’m a guy that shows my truth,” he responded.Īnd his truth is this: Donald lives in Southern California with his wife, Erica, and their son, Aaric, who was born in September. “I’m thinking about my kids, first, always,” he says. He even told teammates two years ago that perhaps he would step away after Year 8-the one that ended with his meaty hands raising the Lombardi Trophy toward the sky.ĭuring a late-February phone interview, and for the first time publicly, Donald broached the true reason he is considering retirement. The same thoughts had weighed on him every day throughout the past three seasons. But he left out how problematic his reality had become. He wanted to stay in the moment, enjoy the celebration. He told reporters what he told himself at the parade. This isn’t a subject that Donald wades into often, certainly not publicly. But they were wrong, too, because his emotional tug-of-war wasn’t about football (beyond the time, effort and sacrifice it took him to, as McVay says, “epitomize greatness”). Donald was seriously considering whether he wanted to play football anymore. Beyond a title, what else could he play for? Others ventured that his job description-clashing with multiple (and massive) blockers on almost every play-had left a physical imprint.

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With 98 career sacks, eight Pro Bowl nods, seven first-team All-Pro honors and three Defensive Player of the Year awards, he was already a lock for the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Most framed Donald’s decision as tethered to his dominance. The rumors had spread in the days before the game. workouts in The Dungeon-what his father, Archie, named their basement. He thought back to Pittsburgh, his hometown: the close friend who was murdered, the other friends who went to prison and the family that both sheltered and shaped him, starting with 4:30 a.m. and everything else, one of the greatest players in the history of football had, at last, the only accomplishment he lacked. After eight seasons, contract holdouts, a historic extension, the Rams’ move from St. As Donald basked in actual sun and metaphorical glow, he finally understood. The superstars met briefly afterward, and Donald is still processing what James told him: “You’re the greatest defensive player I’ve ever seen.”įor weeks, teammate Von Miller had told Donald, “There’s nothing better than football heaven,” meaning the glorious championship aftermath. And he attended his first Lakers game, sitting courtside, galvanizing the crowd and high-fiving LeBron James. He flew to Miami for Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s 45th birthday bash. He hosted family and friends for dinner at Delilah, the Roaring ’20s–themed hot spot in West Hollywood. Donald went on The Late Late Show With James Corden he wore sunglasses, continued to imbibe and proved he could skip rope and throw a football through a tire (he did not fare as well in the limbo). That same week, the exultation continued unabated.

He shouted, “World champs!” over and over and apologized (unnecessarily) for his slurred speech. In this crucible of competing emotions-“juiced” by a splendid present, reflecting on a predictive past and not yet ready to plot an undetermined future-Donald leaned in close to team owner Stan Kroenke and told him that he loved him.